insomnia

now, i've had those bouts where i didn't do enough during the day so i'm still awake and my mind won't rest but last night it was hardcore insomnia, i watched tv, read then thought, time for bed, it's getting late. i turn off the late and i was wide awake. like nothing would get me to sleep. normally i tell myself a story in my head but i was so restless. so i thought i could either scrapbook or read. so i decided on reading. which i did until i had enough and laid down and i think i did the staring thing. i felt unsettled for some reason. anyway, i've never not been able to sleep here (unless i was sick) because i'm generally so fucked from working and the kids. and i now wonder if it's because i slightly regret cutting my hair this short. i want my long hair back. but if i don't think it then maybe that feeling will disappear.
anyway, the day went better than yesterday. we went to the pool after dinner and i went through torture on a water slide that i couldn't sit up in so had to lie down (it was a tunnel) which meant i couldn't actually see when the slide was ending so i ended up flying into the water and it going up my nose. first and last time i go on that slide. but it was good, got in the 12ft pool to use my energy up so can just collapse in bed tonight, which was a good idea i thought, i should go and swim more, except i'm plagued with chelle's comment saying i look like i'm diving for buried treasure with each stroke.
on he uni side of things vtac still hasn't opened up vtac applications, i'm wondering how late is late july going to be? mum heard they're offering more education courses in the city next year which would be nice, except i want it to be at la trobe in bundoora. and la trobe offer it in bendigo and mildura nd if ballarat was a pain to study at and stay living at home imagine either of those places? so vic uni offer it, but, as horrible as this sounds, it's vic uni. and melb uni offers it as as far as i' conerned, it's not an option because even if they accepted me i couldn't accept myself as going there (sorry, it's the stigma, so prestigious, i wouldn't want that shite rubbed on me).
anyway, that's all for now. tomorrow i shall finish my scrapbook. which is like signing off on my first 6 months here. it's sunk in that i not only lasted but i'm going to finish this off. i finally feel like i've grown up. crazy! love ya