woe is me

well, i'm tired. i think going out has caught up on me. and the kids have been on edge a little. emily and alex are sick so alex has been whinier than usual which quickly gets on my nerves. emily is taking massively long naps because she's running a fever which would be nice but today we had to get to the grocery and buy new goldfish for the fishtank and be home in time to put the potatoes in the oven for dinner. mildly stressful when emily wouldn't stay in the trolley so i ended up pushing it and carrying her at times (it was quicker). anyway, haven't heard from marwin, who was called nutty mcnuterson by parker so i've taken to calling him that to myself, since sunday night when i hung up from his incoming call and left a voice saying he missed my kisses sometimes and finished with i love you. ew ew ew. and i probably won't be seeing him tomorrow night as i'm working until 10 so i'll only be going to friday's if the girls will still be there for a while longer. and i doubt he'll be invited on thursday night to angelika's and andrea's goodbye dinner.
so in the midst of the other update the other night i forgot to add another piece of frustrating news i got. which was from my mum telling me that she'd had a big 'D&M' (her words, not mine) with rach and would so with me but i'd find it more hard to accept. but i wasn't to try and get it out of rachel. so i ignored, very big of me actually. but i'm pissed. if she dare tells me her and dad are splitting up (there is a rational thought behind this, not me thinking like a crazy woman) then of curse i'll have a hard fucking time of accepting it. i'll hit the fucking roof and break through it. i'll move out of home (i'm well aware this not an option right now, had to beg rachel for money tonight, more on that later), i won't be happy. of course she could be telling me something else, like they're adopting a child (as if) but apart from the divorce thing, i've no fucking clue what it could be about. oh it's nice to vent but has made me angry.
now, about the money. after the shopping the other night i put myself in a shitty position of being overdrafted AGAIN but this time in both my access and credit card accounts. not pretty. so sunday night i was emailing my nana and confided in her that my credit card was maxed and i was having to ask mum and dad for a loan but said not to tell mum and dad as i didn't want her to. so then mum emails me yesterday and says nana has deposited money into their account for me and that they'll bring it with them. i was like, oh my godness i can't accept money from a pensioner. but she's done it. so i said, put it in my account (which needs it) but, too late, dad's already withdrawn it and might not get back to the credit union to put it in my account. oh she's emailed now. nothing about the money just about my mature decisions (more on that later). so i email rachel and have to beg and plead for her to put $90 into my account. i don't know if that'll cover everything, but it'll be better that the negative amounts i currently have. but the thing is, she doesn't have internet banking, very non technological is my sister. to walk into a bank is a novelty for me, she's had dad depositing money for her and no bills to ever pay. so yeah, that's my dilemma with money for today.
now, about my mature decisions; i applied for uni today. the application isn't final cause i can't pay for it yet, surprise surprise. but, here are my prefences:
1. rmit, bundoora (around the corner) - education
2. uni of melb (i had to give in), parkville - education
3. vic uni, footscray park (shitsville) - education (p-12)
4. uni of ballarat, ballarat - education (p-10)
and i don't think i'll change them either. the bad thing is, it pretty much came down to location because in the end, i guess all the courses are the same, it's just the way they sell themselves on the course outline on the website. so mum called that my very mature decision. which is great. if she and my father are splitting up i can't say that i'll say the same thing. they'll ruin my holiday. what on earth could i have such a hard time accepting apart from that? she knows my view on divorce. or view on divorce of my parents. i told her before i left if it happened i wouldn't come home.
anyway. i can't dwell. it'll make me more upset. and i didn't return my library book tonight so i've another overdue payment to make. like is jolly. wasn't i suppose to have a good money year planets?
the kids are off to great america tomorrow so i've just got emily. don't know if i should plan much as it might be far too hot again to be outside and i don't know how she'll be feeling. but we'll definitely do the pool after dinner, that girl is a fish. oh talking of girl fish. i watched aquamarine today. did you know it is australian and they tried to sell it off as being set in florida? i stated watching it thinking, it's so beautiful at this place then as each new actor appars i'm like "he's australian!" "she's australian!" and when i saw the shopping scene where they went to 'tampa' i was like, oh it's an australian movie with american accents! they shopped in diva and had giordano bags. silly duffers. was a good movie though.
anyway, will go. this has probably been long again. sorry! hope you're all well. i now need to print the directions from the aiport to mum and dad's hotel to my home.