kids are so tiring

so the past few days have had some ups and downs. for the progress alex and i had made it went downhill yesterday with her lying to me (i used to do it so much to my parents but now find it so infuriating it makes me see white hot anger).
ok, so i started this last night and didn't bother to post it as it wasn't much to post and because i was emotional (nothing to worry about).
anyway, i'm fucked. i've been staying up late every night this week and last night was super late as I run out of cigarettes and decided at midnight that I needed another one, and a couple of rums. actually i wanted to get drunk. it was after friggin midnight and i made this decision. very stupid and crazy. so after 1am i finally fell asleep.
today was alight. i got a sleep in and ignored my text messages in the night so i didn't go through the tossing and turning again. emily and i went to gymnastics this morning. it was so good! she balanced on the balance beam (just off the ground) all by herself! that's an amazing deal for kids. and then we're waiting to have a go at one of the skills and she's on a wedge and does tumble turns by herself. she does all this stuff when she thinks no one is looking but is ever so pleased with herself when i get so excited. it was great. i was filled with such happiness with how much progress she is making. she even let the teacher spot her today and not me. this stuff excites me.
matthew was pretty lethargic again when he came home today and soccor practise was called off because of the cold, rainy, miserable weather. i don't mind it being rainy and miserable, i love that weather, but COLD? no, you can have the cold. so tonight we all went off to alex's open school night and i wished i'd taken my camera because the school was just like a classroom in a movie! pat laughed hen i said about my camera but i was dead serious! they've got lizards in there and a turtle and all this sort of stuff. mind you, reptiles aren't my thing... so, anyway, while i'm there i get roped into (i make it sound like i wasn't excited...) into going in for multicultural day. but my mind was already running 100 miles at hour at what i could do! so i'm going to wear in my boon shirt (you know the one jo and ang, we wore it when we did the cricket thing and i got the rash from that moustache?!?!) and the down under bowl hat david gave me before i left and i'm going to stick australia flag tattoos on alex (the ones you gave me jo) an i'll make damper and take in vegemite to go with it (courtesy of jo again) and i'll get rach to end me some chicken twisties and clinkers (extra for myself of course...) and if anyone wants to donate then i will need them to be sent by monday at the latest. email me at hookstar54@hotmail.com for my address. we're going to make a poster this weekend. so yes, i'm very excited!!! i'm also going to start practising a real australian accent. and alex too, she needs to get g'day mate perfect. oh and send me some australian terms. oh lozz you're handy for that! remember the book you told me about in borders in scotland?? can you let me know what it's called so i can search for it her.e mind you i don't want to pay for it. send erin in and get her to sit down and write some down. it's not plagarism, it's for a school project. this is turning into an email.
so, the weekend will be quiet. i will probably try and avoid alcohol because i've a feeling i may get myself very drunk. mind you we're going out saturday night for marcella's birthday so i'm trying to figure out a way not to drive. which is impossible seeing as no one lives close enough to me. whinge bitch whinge. and if it's cold tomorrow night i don't think i'll go out. on top of that it's pay day tomorrow and i'm having to give in and buy a carton of cigarettes so they should last me longer since i'm smoking close to a pack a day at the moment. i have to quit or tell mum at sme point.
so that's all about me. i had a massive ramble tonight. got a lot on my mind and am tired and my shoulder blades are burning like hell.
have a good weekend!