it was most definitely a migraine

i didn't really work today. i woke at 2am with the worst migraine i've had yet. i haven't had migraine's like that for years and it struck me down badly. so i didn't work, spent the day sleeping pretty much and worked for a little while tonight to give pat some time off. i felt terrible for not being able to work, she was already planning a day off but she most likely had lots of stuff she needed to do so me being sick didn't help. i'm still pretty lightheaded now and will be of to bed soon. i wouldn't even trust myself to drive the car so to me, that means bad.
but i have the weekend off from aturday night to tuesday night so i think i'll go downtown and see what festivites are going on down there for 4th of july. apparently monday there is so pretty cool stuff in grand park and fireworks and stuff so i might do that then the 4th i'll hang out here. who knows!
hope you're well

i'm back to that i don't want kids phase. whilst i look at baby clothes and want to buy it for my future baby i don't think i actually WANT one. it could change tomorrow but it's so friggin draining to be with kids for 9 hours a day. i get to a point where i want to scream, kill me NOW. on the other hand they are entertaining, loving and challenging (in a good way) that i'd love to have a kid asap. or maybe not that soon, but you know, sooner than now which is not until hell freezes over. i'm pretty sure it's because i have a headache which i think will be a migraine in about half an hour time but i insist on eatting ice cream, it might make me feel better.
apart from that boring stuff not much exciting is happening. on fridya i will go and see a counsellor thingy at the college who can advice me on what to study as i need to register for fall class before july 21st which, if i leave it will creep up and bite me fair on the arse that the next i know i'm doing some basic english beginners class and wasting my time. i should probably do introduction to teaching, would look better on my uni app back home but there might be a lot of homework involved which requires serious brain power, i was thinking creative writing, i am good at writing if i apply myself enough. clearly now isn't that time as i am blabbing on about ASOLUTELY NOTHING.
as of yet no plans for the weekend. can't even plan for july 4 as pat doesn't know if the kids will be here or up north with greg. which doesn't phase me but i'd kinda like to really celebrate it as it might be the only july 4 i experience. i don't even know what people do july 4. except that there's fireworks, which is exciting. if the kids are here we'll go and see that, if not then maybe i'll go downtown but i was hoping to do something like the movies and have a backyard party cookout thing and have all the decorations. i need to do some research as to what's on offer for me to invite myself too.
well, i should go. enough said. time is going so fast, i'm about to hit my 5 month mark. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? i don't think my time here has been boring, i've certainly seen lots of stuff an the coming 5 months will be exciting as well with me going to nashville, memphis, atlanta, chattanooga, new york city (again), las vegas and most likely san diego, tijuana and l.a. i still don't know if i will get to san fran, but even if i can't, there are package deals there all the time from home. except it would be a perfect place to go while i'm actually here. and i'm going to orlando in feb. see, i'll have lots of exciting news coming up within 5 months. hang in there.

big day

i just got home from spending 9 hours at great america, a theme park. my favourite roller coaster was the superman, you're put in a position which allows for you to stick your arms out in the pose that he does when he's flying. which i did. i loved it! i never thought of myself as the type of person who goes on roller coasters, i always think i'd prefer not but today it was just one after the other. i still didn't see it all though but don't know if i'll go back as it's pretty expensive and no doubt i can see what i didn't see somewhere else. i'll be sending out photos later in the week probably and most definitely uploading new ones on ringo.
yesterday i finally did the scrapbooking i've been planning to do for ages but only managed three pages.
friday night we went to a bar, last night we had a house party with a bonfire, not in the house though. it was a fairly quiet weekend i guess. nothing too exciting.
i have to call grandpa for his birthday and have a shower. i straightened my hair last night and it was lovely and straight today then the second ride we go on is one of the ones you 10 of you sit in a ring and go along a river thing, i got wet, not like the other girls, they got drenched, but my hair got enough wet to give the curl another chance of life. now it needs a wash. far too much info about my hair.
there was something else i wanted to touch on, but can't remember! i haven't worked for two days but clearly the prospect of doing so is enough to turn my brain to mush!
but today was awesome, i'm pleasnatly tired. i had a really good time!
hope you're good.

and the beat goes on

busy busy busy.
i can't remember when i posted last. the days blend in together and i forget lots of things. i do remember that i wouldn't have written about my heart swelling moment on sunday. the kids came in from spending father's day arvo with their dad on sunday and i was sitting on the couch watching dawson's creek (finally up to the 4th series, i like it better when joey and pacey are together) and matthew comes up to show me a lego car/truck, alex wanted to tell me something and emily comes up with the cutest face ever, climbs on me and sit there giggling and laughing with me, letting me kiss her. it was such an amazing experience. made me realise how much i love these kids. which finally makes me feel normal because there are times i swear i could ust wlak out the door and not come back because of how crazy they're driving me. which doesn't happen so much these days. and summer vacation isn't so bad at all, i wasn't dreading it, more fearful but it's fine.
today we went to mini golf (emily was watched by a neighbour) and alex's friend caitlin came along which is fine enough but i have never thought she was a good person for alex to be around but never worried about it before because they'd ben friends for so long. so anyway, my feelings came out today when i said to pat that i don't think i would like to take caitlin out anymore. as horrible as it may sound it causes more bad than good. she bosses alex around, undermines me, talks alex (not very hard) into doing things which i asked not to be done, or not that but is sneaky, such as today alex is tired and wants to skip a few holes ahead and be done so i said that's fine and to sit on the seat where i could see them (caitlin said she'd be fine to do that with alex) so after a couple of holes i notice they aren't sitting anywhere i can see them so i do one more hole and then off i go in search of them. now, there would be days when i don't worry about being embarrassed in public, sometimes i can't think of anything worse, but with kids i think it's lost because i walk out there and there they are playing on computer games and those side show thingos and i go "ALEX, CAITLIN, INSIDE NOW" and they prmoptly did so. i think i was so angry because alex follows instruction to a certain degree without hassle when that third party isn't there so i was probably more angry about it had it been just alex who i knew wouldn't have done that. anyway.
interesting stuff. went out last night, had fun, should of had a beer but by the time i decided i wanted one i was going to have to get going and if i skulled it then i would've had trouble driving home. i already did taking the east exit onto 120 instead of the west. stupid me. also, there is a potential love interest... not much can be said because i'm so hot and cold about people that if i go say something i can gaurantee by the time i wake in the morning i'll be over it. but yes. there might be some goss. might not be, it could be another shell service station guy incident.
going now as i want to read and get a nice sleep. i'm healthy (touch wood) at the moment and want to keep it that way, so need to get enough rest and not take it for granted.

lazy bones

hey so i've been lazy. the last week was mad and i was fearful of getting sick again and blah blah blah. so it's 6 weeks until the parents arrive which marks my 6 months annivarsary, which leads me on to the thought that time is going very quickly. mind you, it's been about 35 degrees for the past two days so summer has arrived!!! which is awesome as i can go to great america soon! roller coasters here i come. and water slides. and anything else that goes along with theme parks.
on thursday i saw my first dead body ever and it had me freaked out. i didn't walk up and see him (pat's dad) but i could see from the back of the room and i seriously felt my tummy turn. i wasn't disgusted, just very spun out as that was an experience i wasn't expecting from the year.
today i picked up the shorts i had on layby, very nice, and then bought 4 glasses to take home with me, actually i'll post them back and pray that they won't be broken.
tonight i'm off to firkins and actually should be in the shower as we speak but my ability to be punctual when i'm driving is lacking. my control freak attitude is becoming a little too relaxed. oh actually there was some major realisation i came to through the week but have now forgotten what it was, so clearly it wasn't very important at all. anyway, i'm going to end this as i really am going to start running late and i need to access the hair situation and see if it needs some sort of styling. hope the weekend was hunky dory. i'll write more tomorrow when i have my thoughts in some sort of order.

not much

so there's not much news on this side of the world. i'm leaving for the wake soon as i'm picking up the kids and have to take all these expressways (first time going so far by myself). and my biggest dilemma at the moment is, what do i have for dinner? my throat is sore again but i'm tipping it's lack of sleep and while they've been out i tried catching up on sleep but i woke up with hiccups so it wasn't the nicest sleeps, how is that possible?
tomorrow is payday and i can't go and spend all my money tomorrow arvo because i've got great america on the weekend, which reminds me, i need to send an email out about it.
oh a hot footballer just came to the door fundraising. that was a nice visitor.
have fun!

well, i haven't posted for a few days and things have been not full on, but some heavy stuff has been going on. pat's dad passed away early this morning and it was expected to a degree as pat was away all sunday because her dad had a turn for the worse but still, i don't know what she must be feeling, i just want to help as much as i can.
on saturday night i went to navy pier and froze my butt off but it was worth it, i love fireworks! on sunday i ended up working so nothing exciting there. and this week will probaby be consumed with helping pat. this sunday i'm going to great america and there's a new girl arriving and she seems really nice and has great english so i'm excited about meeting her.
i spoke to my parents very early (2am) sunday morning and it's less than 7 weeks before they arrive, i'm VERY excited about that. and the trip away is all expenses paid for me so i'll pay them back by taking them out for dinner a few times here, it allows me to save some more for the november trip.
anyway, that's all for now. hope everyone is well!

welcome summer VACATION

when i say summer holidays no one understands me! anyway, so officially all three kids are home with me for the next 76 days or somthing. or that's how many days of vacation they have (if i remember correctly). and i've figured we'll be spening a lot of time at the pool so, that means i have to get serious about swimmers because to be honest, i haven't done swimmers regularly for like, actualy i've no idea how long. i also require shorts. i haven't worn shorts for at least 3 years. apart from boardies and that was clearly not very regularly. but i'm psyched about it actually! imagine how brown i'll be. i'll have to apply sunscreen liberally of course because of how white i am from years of no sun exposure until it gets to it.
last night we went out to friday's, couldn't sing cause i still can't hear myself and i'm still snotty but it was alright. we didn't sit in the bar, which is a bummer because i can't smoke so i was back and forth in there. i hate sitting there knowing people were staring, i caught an old guy and knew another was cause i could see him out of the corner of my eye but because it would require turning my heard a full 45 degree angle i couldn't catch him out. freaked me out, i thought i had something stuck to my face or something. weirdos. i smoked quickly after that.
this weekend i've got off so will go to navy pier and watch the fireworks on saturday night and might go to evanston (i dunno what's there, but magda has been wanting to for ages). friday night might be a quiet one, depending on what the girls are doing, they want to go to a spanish club downtown but i'm not too keen, i don't know any spanish as much as i try (not much to be completely honest) and it involves getting downtown and i can't drink cause i'll have to drive back from the train station. we'll see.
have good weekend!
p.s. next week is our gymnastics show!! hopefully won't be a disaster as emily was in a terrible mood today and we had to leave early as she didn't want anything to do with the whole idea of it.

you'd never believe it...

i'm friggin sick AGAIN. someone in the future will say to me, how was your time in america and i'll say, i spent a good amount of it sick. so i'm going to have to give in and get some multi vitamins.
now, the bad news. cancer scare, wasn't cancer, it was a lesion on my mum's lung. and then with further tests the pain is just a hernia which flares up during stress. which we'd already come to the conclusion of.
i finished the assignment tonight, it as also due tonight... so as much as i tried to train myself a new trick of finishing something on time it didn't work, it still came down to the end of the line. clearly i'll be one of the uni students who will say she has some mega assignment due but won't do anything til the last minute. i work better at that point anyway.
spoke to lozz today (big 26 y.o!!) and came to a horrible realisation that i will probably have to ask my parents if i can borrow cash. even though they're coming over here. how bad is that? they're spending thousands on getting here and i still need to borrow. the other option is to ask my grandparents but if i did that my parents'd freak.
went out friday night to a sports bar and watched baseball, i know more about that than the other girls as well, they're a little thick in the head, marcella says, he's cute looking at one big screen and magda goes, yeah he is looking at the other screen which are both showing completely different games! neither of which knew until about ten looks back and forth. it as an alright place and will probably go back again.
went shopping today for lauren but managed to lay-by some shorts for me. very nice shots and i've gone down two sizes. yay! very exciting. so my butt and legs re getting smaller and i think my belly is getting bigger. ugh. can't win. but i got two parcels from home last week with lots of goodies so i can't say i've exactly been helping myself. and it seems that when i get sick i have some subconscious thing which decides i can eat whatever i want, so i'll snap back into it when i'm halfwaly through the half the crap. very disgusting. need to kill that habit.
also probably going to work on giving up smoking. it is probably helping double the amount of fluid i'm hacking up at the moment and is fucking up my throat.
oh but weird thing happened today, i'm at gurnee mills and this guy catches me out to give me hand cream and try and sell me shit so i give in and try the cream, then he wants to see my nails and show me this great buffer thing, have you seen my nails?! i admit, as bad as they are they look good the two nails he did, enough to make me want to grow them. but anyway, i finally say, i earn $140 a week, i've got no cash for nail care when i bite my nails blah blah blah and then he goes on about how he's from isreal and he could easily go to australia cause he's a 'hair cutter' and says australia could use him (my hair wasn't exactly done today.. i'd clipped it up and left it as is) and i'm like, uh, thanks and he goes, oh not you! then he HUGS me goodbye. i had to walk past him on my way out so i got my cell phone out and checked all my voicemails. very strange. who hugs a stranger who didn't buy his stuff??? plus, on top of it, we know i'm not one for affection and hugging, especially strangers, so i was mildly embarrassed about the whole exchange.
apart from that, life is fine. matthew has finished school. alex does this week. i need to find some new swimmers because i figure we'll be at the pool a lot and the ons i bought no longer fit right. more money to spend,
anyway, have a good week. i wanted to be in bed half an hour ago!